chaos or calm

I spend lots of time thinking about animals and parenting... My son loves to ask me about what animals "parent" and what lay eggs or give birth and go. Swallows.. stay and help the babies for awhile...



I believe... salmon and snakes are suppose to just go with instinct to survive.. Being a mother.. especially a mother of a special needs child.. be it down syndrome...www.kellehampton.com this is a mother of 2 girls.. who has over 6,000 followers.. and appeared on CNN after she announced on her blog.. that her 2nd daughter had downs, and she did not know till she was born.. she humanizes the syndrome.. and is a joy to visit every day. but there are others...

a mother of a daughter with chiari malformation, syringomyelia, amblyopia...
http://haileyagainstallodds.blogspot.com

some only a child like my son with Adhd.. http://adhdmomma.blogspot.com or many other things that make your child a special needs child... it becomes harder and harder to just let them use their instincts... We have created a complex culture...so I turn to experts... to help with some of my worry and questions.. and I turn to other blogs.. the above ladies.. have helped me.. Because my son also has Neurofibromatois... www.ctf.org. and so he could get tumors ... on his face.. internally... and it can be life threatening... I try not to think about this... I do think about how children would be mean and cruel to him... if he was "different" looking.. People need to embrace differences...
This blog is a place for a.d.h.d mom's or special need mom's to come .. or anyone.. but don't come and give us your sympathy or your sadness.. come and share with us and be happy... in the life we have created...no matter how difficult.. I am not saying you can't rant or rave a little.. that is healthy.. I believe...
I know a special needs mom can feel her life is a life of chaos.. Household chaos, school chaos.. family chaos.. but I hope to be able to learn from these bloggers and from my experiences... that the emotional drain of a chaotic household... needs to stop at times... and we need to stop issuing ultimatums, and barking directions... and understand... the reality of having an unpredictable child.. My son is emotionally volatility.. he gets frustrated easily.. depressed and angry.. so I try to keep him interested with walks, hikes, crafts.. and new experiences.

Moms get help

SO most of my life I felt like I was on a roller coaster or wanting to be on one.. I was searching for that ..... excitement..... Or I was drowning.... from that roller coaster that went so fast it flew into water..... In over my head feeling..



SO in my years as a adult... I am finally getting more organized thanks to my diagnosis... and to the Internet....
I have tried to do the following.. to help myself as a mom.. and to help my A.D.H.D son...


1. Organize my home...
I write down appointments on the calendar... I have a chalk board for daily... I have a menu for the days food, and a running shopping list... I plan meals monthly... I have to-do lists...
2. set up a morning routine... up, bathroom, breakfast, face and teeth brushed... dressed ...than TV
3.I get up 30 or more minutes before my son.. so I can check his backpack... and prepare my purse and or backpack... if we are going hiking.... etc...
4. I have tried to organize my discipline and I am not as much as a dictator as I have been in the past... I let him pick some punishments... I DO PICK MY BATTLES...
5. I stay in the loop when it comes to my son's school.. I have the teachers email.. and I follow themes, and try to communicate through a notebook or via email...
6.YOU must establish a homework routine.. same time, same place...eat a snack first..have a little down time first... and then start the focus...
7. This is the hardest one for me... Stay Positive
It is hard for me to compliment good behavior.. as my son forgets, looses, and doesn't clean up all the time... so we begin negative comments... So I have go to tell myself that I need to praise his strengths and catch him being good. I try not to complain about my own negative ADD issues...

only fair to start with me....

I guess it's only fair to start this story with me...
I was a child who grew up loving nature and the outdoors... I would get interested in many fads... or subjects... and spend most of my time... only doing those things.. and neglecting other areas of study or work... I have found out recently that I have adult A.D.H.D. I was never a hyper child... but I did chat incessantly... I found out this year ... that my interests and my son's interest in one subject... is called being Hyper focused.. ( more on this later)
I learned two years ago that I had an inherited neurological syndrome characterized by easy distractiability, low tolerance for frustration or boredom, a greater than average tendency to say or do whatever came to mind...( learned this was impulsively) and a predilection for situations of high intensity....I have learned that there are some advantages to having ADHD... high energy, intuitiveness, creativity and enthusiasm and Passion... which I can admit I have ....
In school... I had much trouble... not with disruptive behavior but with math facts, spelling, handwriting.... and sentence structure.. My grandmother would be exhausted after working with me for hours on homework that should have taken 30 minutes.
So when the veil was lifted 2 years ago...and I began to learn... why I have had so much trouble with "simple" organization and challenges... I realized... my son was going to have a long hard road ahead of him... unless I became a solider in his fight for his success in school and life.

welcome

Have you ever been so overwhelmed with parenting your special needs child that you find yourself in a closet alone... crying...? or driving and crying... If you have this blog may be a beacon of hope for you... This blog will be filled with personal stories about my son. My son has neurofibromatosis and he was just diagonosed with A.d.h.d..
I will discuss topics such as parenting... occupational therapy... nutrition, ADHD